...Into the Womb

No more babies

2012-01-31T20:32:00.000-05:00

I can't believe my little man is ONE today.

A whole year has passed - I feel like I blinked and it was over.

He dove right in during his cake smash (which can be found in it's entirety here: CAKE SMASH PHOTOS

But today was his birthday.

Today we celebrated with homemade pancakes (thanks, daddy!) (and pictures to come). Then we went to my gym for some free play - the kids seemed to love it. Little boy got tired and even lied on the floor, sucking his thumb for a few minutes :o)

After that, we went to the Disney store where the girls each picked a stuffed animal (D - a red Minnie and B - a Goofy). Since it was the little boy's birthday (and they were having a buy 1 get 1 free sale) he got to pick 2 - a Pluto and a Donald. And because I'm a bit of a sucker, we got 4 mini toys, too - mainly for the car - Lotso, Dolly, the unicorn and Bullseye (which E LOVES!).

After that we celebrated with Dinner at Chili's and a birthday song!They were all pretty tuckered out, so it was home for a bath and storytime.

I can't help but feel inexplicably sad though. It's a happy day, for sure, but I don't know. I'm sad to not have a baby anymore. I know it's so, so tough, but I'm going to miss it. We drove right near where he was born and I kept thinking it just doesn't feel like it's been a whole year.

I wish I could take back all the times I was so frustrated that he'd only sleep on me, because now he doesn't do that any more. I wish I had the husband actually take the picture that I kept meaning to take - of little boy passed out after his noon feeding in my arms - because now he gets a real lunch and doesn't do that anymore. And I don't have the picture I kept meaning to take. I kind of wish I had nursed longer, because I won't again. I wish that when I felt so overwhelmed by having someone on me all.day.long that I could have realized how quickly it would actually go - and how fast I'd miss it.The bedtime bottle is gone - now it's a sippy cup with dinner.

Tonight he sat in my lap sucking his thumb as Daddy read the bedtime story, and I was so glad he did - because the past 2 nights he's wanted very little to do with sitting still in my lap, and I'm just not ready to give it up yet. Because I know before long he'll be a full fledged toddler, having his own opinions (and voicing them!), not wanting to cuddle and only wanting to run around. So for now, I'm soaking in what remains of baby-hood, despite the fact that he looks like such a little boy now.

HUGS!

2011-12-20T15:07:00.000-05:00

How cute is this? Seriously?They started tacking each other for hugs yesterday...And not to be outdown, little boy's stem...which is slowing fading away.

A calm day

2011-12-02T06:00:00.000-05:00

I'm not going to lie. There's been a lot of tantrums around here. A lot of shrieking. A lot of crying. Whining. Screaming. Unwillingness to share, fear of the potty and general toddler-angst. It's been hard. Draining.

But the other day was a calm day. A nice day.

A day filled with princesses pushing each other around in doll strollers. (well. It's always DC pushing Scooter.)

Playing dress up.
There was some exploring.(he has a ducktail now)
And some boo-boo buddy stealing. Oh, how he loves to antagonize his sisters...A sweet sibling moment.Some thumb sucking.A boy and his trusty steed.(sidenote: why are babies so gross? EW)A princess discovers the elf.And a peaceful naptime.
Wednesday was a good day.

She found Elfie.

2011-12-01T11:13:00.000-05:00

...and it was amazing.

10 months. 4 teeth.

2011-11-30T16:07:00.001-05:00

Epic. EPIC I tell you.

2011-11-30T16:02:00.001-05:00

In case you were wondering what an epic tantrum looks like, here ya go!

3.0: "Oh hey! What's goin' on here? A tantrum? Cool. I think I'll climb on your face now. That'll make it better!"

Still going...

And then there's my G.Q.

Partners in crime.

Ok. All better. For the next 30 seconds.

And let's not forget "little miss is it naptime yet?"

Thanksgiving pictures

2011-11-29T15:44:00.001-05:00

I would have loved a good picture of all 3 of them together on Thanksgiving, but with limited time and energetic little ones - that just wasn't in the cards. At least I was able to get a good one of the baby enjoying his first Thanksgiving meal for his baby book.

Uh-oh

2011-11-23T08:45:00.001-05:00

3.0 Doesn't really feel like a little baby anymore. He's doing things earlier than the girls did. He's exploring and getting hurt - mainly because he likes to pull up on things and just let go. He's been walking assisted for about a month now - and for about 2 weeks he's been using his "friendly dinosaur" on his own.

I was looking through old pictures the other day and noticed something. Almost a year to the day. How crazy is it that we're repeating the same things almost exactly a year apart? On the verge of walking...

(This is just about when DC took interest in the dinosaur. Scooter had been using it for a bit already).

3/4 or 9 months

2011-11-02T15:41:00.003-04:00

It goes by in the blink of an eye, doesn't it? Where did my little baby go? Now he's crawling everywhere and is into everything. His current favorite ways to get into trouble are pulling himself up with the nightlight in his room and playing in the dog bowl.

He follows the girls around and torments them - especially Scooter. He just loves stealing her toys and climbing all over her - then she screams and wants to be held because clearly, she's under attack. Ironically, she's the one that used to torment DC - the exact same way. She became mobile first, so she was constantly taking toys away, etc. and now she's getting a taste of her own medicine. Maybe it's a younger sibling thing?

Right now I'm working on transitioning 3.0 to another solid meal and dropping a bottle. But rather than do this with lunch, I'm doing it with a snack time. Any my entire reasoning for this is that most of the time he falls asleep on me during his lunchtime bottle so I'm not ready to drop that yet. It's the only time he falls asleep on
me and I'm holding onto this baby stage as long as I can.

Trick or Treat!

2011-10-31T08:08:00.000-04:00

Here comes trouble.

2011-10-27T08:02:00.000-04:00

This child will.not.stop.climbing.

He's all about pulling himself up on things and wanting to walk (assisted) all the time. Except he's all willy-nilly about it. One handed? Sure! Pull up on something totally unstable (like a pretzel jar)? Why not? Total dare devil, I tell you!

He's nothing like the girls were. They were slow to walk and were so calculated in their movements - thinking things through first. Sure, DC may be clumsy (sorry, DC, but I speak the truth) but they really did think things through first. They knew how to walk, just chose when they would actually walk - on their terms. And when they did start, there weren't really any tumbles because they had it all planned out.This little man though? He's all about do first, think (or scream) later.

Baby Comparison

2011-10-26T13:56:00.000-04:00

All 8 months old. Left to Right and in birth order, too! DC, Scooter, 3.0. Aren't they so cute? I think it's really interesting how they all put the same foot forward :o)

They're TWO!

2011-10-17T10:13:00.000-04:00

Two years ago, my husband and I welcomed our beautiful little girls into our insta-family. Two years ago we first glanced perfectly crafted faces. Their itty bitty fingers and toes. We touched their smooth skin and marveled at the fact that they were here. That they were girls. That they were ours.I know people say it goes fast, but I never, ever, ever imagined just how fast it would really go.

It's absolutely amazing to watch them grow and develop. The way they interact is like nothing I've ever seen before. They seem to know what the other wants and most of the time they're just so, so sweet to each other.

DC is my little jokester; a total ham. But she's also very sweet when she wants to be. She lies on the floor with her brother and brings him toys. She constantly shares her meal with her sister (who's usually begging DC for her meal). She likes hugs and loves to tickle. Recently, she's even taken on the role of potty training her beloved Penguin, Pengy.She gets crazy-hyper when she's over tired and runs around like a maniac. She loves, loves, loves to be chased. She loves to say "shoes?" and pull them out to have us put them on her. She likes to put her toys away and wipe up "messes."She was once our mouth-breathing baby who you could hear a mile away and now she routinely sneaks up on us.
And then there's sweet little Scooter. My little alarm clock. She's turned into such a maternal little creature. She puts her babies in the high chairs (there's one in a high chair right now). She's the first to comfort a sibling if they're crying. She's obsessed with buckles and buttons. She's curious. She loves figuring out how things work. She loves books and although she's always held them the right way as she flipped through the pages (genius in training, I tell you!) she's now begun to actually "read," which is just adorable. She also makes s super silly face for the camera during every photo shoot (see bottom left!).She loves hugs and getting tucked in (numerous times) at night. She loves to help. She adds "y" to all sorts of words now ("booky," "footy"). She says "footy" when she climbs down the stairs. She loves to giggle and run around in circles and is infatuated with Mickey Mouse. Whenever we are, she spots a Mickey (they're everywhere, by the way).My sweet baby girls. My, how you have grown.

a non picture update

2011-10-13T10:57:00.000-04:00

My 8.5 month old took assisted steps yesterday, what is happening?He's constantly getting into a downward dog position and taking steps, but doesn't pull himself up on anything yet. He crawls mostly by worming, although he does get on all 4 often.In other news, the girls are 2!

Around the house

2011-10-03T11:14:00.000-04:00

In their backwards pajamas.

2011-10-03T11:10:00.000-04:00

My little man is 8 months old already.
He's crawling (mostly by pulling) with his arms.
He (much like his sisters) refuses to sit unattended.
He loves solid food.
He's a distracted eater.
He loves being tossed into the air.
He's got one tooth.He's curious.He's busy.

a>

The day to day

2011-09-19T15:18:00.001-04:00

Butternut Squash, anyone?

2011-09-16T14:54:00.001-04:00

Happy Friday! nom.nom.nom.

Girls at 23 months

2011-09-13T11:21:00.000-04:00

In less than one month, they'll be 2. I can't believe that a year ago, I was doing their cake smash and planning the big FIRST birthday. How does time move so fast? And just to prove that not every picture is a keeper, Captain Ridiculous at her finest.

2011-09-02T13:56:00.000-04:00

Ever have one of those days where you get the day started and immediately regret it? No? It's just me?Ok, fine. Whatever.

As cute as my kids are (and they are adorable), they can be just exhausting. And whiny. And opinionated. And as of lately, dripping with snot (hi, cold that will never end!). And sometimes that combination just makes me want to head for the hills. Alone.

So yea. Here are the highlights from the first half of the day. And considering the husband is away this evening, I'm kind of scared for the remainder of the day.

- Go into kids' room (yes, they're all in one room) to get baby. (I prefer to nurse him before the marching band distracts him) only to discover Thing 2 completely naked. Again. Starting the day off with a pee soaked diaper is always good times, no? Incidentally, if anyone has any ideas on how to tame this miniature nudist, I'm all ears. She routinely gets out of her clothes and removes diapers (even when they're on backwards) (and even though I've reinforced them with additional velcro). I cloth diaper, so no, duct tape is not an option.

-Clean up and re-diaper Queen Pee. Take baby. Nurse him then top him off with a bottle.

-Get girls' up. Only to have Thing 1 immediately start with her meltdowns. Joy.

-Give girls' breakfast while spoon feeding oatmeal to the baby, who insists on blowing raspberries full of oatmeal at my face.

-Clean up, sit down to eat something, only to have Thing 1 come running at me saying "poop!"

-Change Thing 1 and realize the dog needs to go out. Take dog out. And here's the highlight of my morning. I had to remove something (a stick?!?!) from the dog's butt. W.T.F?

-Give Thing 2 a timeout for climbing on the dining room table.

Is it bedtime yet?

Mini man and his gummy smile

2011-09-01T15:06:00.000-04:00

Today he's 7 months old.

He has no teeth, but one is eagerly awaiting to erupt.

He doesn't sit unassisted yet, but he's started the beginning phase of crawling. He gets onto his hand knees and bounces. Sometimes he pushes backwards. Sometimes he kicks his feet.

He loves to eat and isn't too picky.

He loves his jumparoo and his big sisters.

He still thinks the word "bilirubin" is hilarious.

This is so him.

The baby cage aka baby prision

2011-08-30T21:48:00.000-04:00

3 cribs, 1 room? Baby jail.

They've all been sick with colds, so it's been super fun in the Danse household lately. But they're cute, even with their boogies.

First up, the first born. This is pretty much the look see gives most often - unamused. Even when she's not sick, she throws herself down dramatically on her Pengy and/or cow and starts sucking her thumb to proclaim her intense fatigue. It usually starts immediately after breakfast...

And then, little Scooter. Sweet. Dramatic. Loving.

And last up - omg, what is he doing?!?!?! Do you see that? Can't sit unassisted, but can crawl? Sigh. Why can't any of my children have a sitting phase? Why? I have so many photos I want to take of a SITTING baby, but they all refuse to sit until they can crawl into a sitting position, which means they crawl away, too.

7 months tomorrow.

Seeing double?

2011-08-17T11:06:00.000-04:00

2 minus 2 (months)

2011-08-08T10:42:00.000-04:00

Did you know that flowers tickle?

They're 22 months old today. And let me tell you, as sweet as they look - they've been challenging lately. Grumpy, moody and with tantrums to boot. DC is probably the biggest challenger. She's headstrong and fights for what she wants. But she's also a cuddler. She's been a thumbsucker since infancy, but it used to be only when she was tired, but lately she's been doing it more and more. This one pretty much sums up who she is right now.

And then there's my little Scooter. She's curious. She's a climber. She's a thinker, she soaks it all in.

Happy girl!

They get along really, really well. Of course they have their moments, but 99% of the time, they're loving towards each other. They bring toys to the other one. They share. They talk in their own language. Comfort each other, make each other laugh, and get into mischief.

They love each other.

And check it out! One of all 3 - when they're kind of looking toward the camera. I'll take it!

Beachin' it

2011-08-04T14:15:00.000-04:00

You would think the beach would be fun, wouldn't you? Sand to play with (and who are we kidding...eat), waves to splash in. Just plain old summer fun.

Unless of course sand is hard to walk in and waves scare you.

The real fun - waves on the feet. Or that knock you off your feet.

Oh well, at least one of the three of them liked it.

And my favorite of the day.

Little model(s)

2011-08-04T14:04:00.000-04:00

When I went to take her picture, I squatted down low. When she saw me, she smiled and squatted too. Maybe she wants to be like her Mama.

When weeds attack:

And I can't share one without the other, right?

Little man @ 6 months

2011-08-01T20:38:00.001-04:00

Dear little man,

You're a happy baby.

You love bouncing in your jumper.

You suck your thumb.

You talk - a lot.

You moved into your crib a week ago.

You love, love, love your sisters.

You smile freely: at me, your dad and your sister.

You giggle and laugh a lot.

You love holding things.

You think the word bilirubin is hilarious (hilarimonus).

You love to touch: you hold our faces, look into our eyes, smile and talk.

Today, you are six months old.

(We celebrated with your first solid foods - sweet potatoes - which you didn't really seem to like.

You held your spoon and even fed yourself.)

Mother of the year award? IN.THE.BAG

2011-07-22T14:56:00.002-04:00

The girls' have seen the face of evil - and it come in the form of a plastic, cartoon turtle.

Just look at that menacing face, ready to squirt water on it's prey.

First - the shock.

Then, the horror! (someone has a flair for the dramatic, wouldn't you say?)

Oh the humanity! The horror! WHY?!?!?!?!

Sigh. Summer time fail. Awesome Mommy Award withdrawn.

Oh well, at least someone enjoyed it.

21 months old!

2011-07-15T17:02:00.000-04:00

The girls are 21 months now and they're starting to look more and more like little girls and less like babies (although, I guess they started looking less babyish once I brought my son home - at least to me anyway).

Sometimes they can be so thoughtful and serene.

So curious. (sidenote, I have NO idea what this thing is. It looks like a pear, but last I checked, I didn't think we had pear tree over here.)

But mostly, they're just goofy. They want to dress themselves and give judgy looks to their sister. DC: "Seriously, what are you doing?"

Impersonating Sasquatch:

And this? Well this is what happens when the photographer asks for a kiss. I was expecting kissy face. Instead Scooter charged my camera and I couldn't zoom out in time.

"Maah!"

I've been a terrible blogger. Terrible at saying what's going on with them. So here are a few things I've spared you the details of recently.

-Tub poopie. The first. Enough said.
-Thievery. Petty toy theft. Toy exchange gone wrong - mainly, DC stealing her sisters precious blankie and cuddling it while Scooter screams. Then I go in and set things right. DC just smiles because she knows she ticked off her sister.
-They take their shoes off. All.the.time. They're $45 a pair - let's leave those on, shall we?
-They hate sprinklers. They just stand there, getting wet, screaming at them. My ideas of going to a splash pad? Killed.
-Scooter INSISTS on putting play drinking cups on her feet and walking around the house like that. Accident waiting to happen.
-They've each chewed the inside of their cribs - Scooter has teeth marks on the top, DC on the bottom. They're on the sides where the cribs meet - which means they stand up, stare at each other, and gnaw on their cribs. Fantastic.
-Ziggy no longer stays in once place. He's not really crawling, but just not staying still. I put him on the playmat and he ends up under the swing.
-We have yet to transition them all into the same room. I'm scared.

Cartoon Doppelgangers

2011-07-05T15:36:00.000-04:00

DC and her cartoon doppelganger (the hello kitty penguin) and Ziggy with Jack Jack. The resemblance is uncanny, no?

My guy is 5 months old!

2011-07-02T10:23:00.000-04:00

My little guy is growing so fast! Next thing I know, I'll blink and he'll be driving. Can I just say though that him being born on the 31st screws with my OCD of needing to take his monthly pictures on his actual month birthday? Haha.

We started off inside, but I don't think he was a fan. See the finger?

Silly boy.

Proof. Reflux in da house.

And my favorite, love his happy, silly expressions!

Happy 5 months, little man!

Flashback Fridays

2011-07-01T16:06:00.000-04:00

DC was so punk rock at 4 months old.

My Scooter? She's so serene. She still is.

My baby girls - how I've tortured you throughout my photography career <3

Hangin' Around.

2011-06-30T10:41:00.000-04:00

And with this, I should be caught up...for now. I'm really sucking at keeping this blog up to date. It's last on the priority list, I guess.

Scooter LOVES the swings.

DC? Well, she's a lot more skeptical. She like to sit in them. Sometimes. Maybe she'll even swing an inch or two. Anything more results in mass hysteria.

She has the most serious expressions.

They have the same face.

2011-06-30T10:37:00.000-04:00

Hi dad! Oooh, that's fascinating! Hey! I'm talking to you!!

Srawberry picking. And kisses.

2011-06-30T10:31:00.000-04:00

She won't kiss me, but she'll always kiss her daddy! On Father's Day.

Some recent favorites.

2011-06-30T10:28:00.002-04:00

Children have neither past nor future; they enjoy the present, which very few of us do.

~Jean de la Bruyere

Sleep regression? I don't know.

2011-06-14T22:02:00.000-04:00

At 16 weeks old, we sleep trained Ziggy. It was a painful, heartwrenching process - but it didn't take too long (luckily).

Later, I made him give up the swaddle. He was always ending up in a toga or with it over his head, so it had to go. It's been a harder process actually. For some reason he really likes busting out of his swaddle to get comfy. Who knew?

Then, for a few glorious nights - he went to bed around the same time the girls did. Without a fight.

Until 3 days ago. I don't get it. He naps FINE. Nights? Not so much. The past 3 nights he's wanted to be nursed to sleep, even though he's been getting a mix of bottles (formula and breastmilk) for a while now and I thought we had broken the nursing to sleep habit. I don't mind if it's quick (it was getting to the point that it was taking hours - which is when we brought formula into the mix because I just don't make the amount he consumes). The past 3 days it's only taken about 5-10 minutes to nurse him to sleep.

But that's making me nervous. He's rapidly approaching the limit for his bassinet and he's GOT to get into a crib - an into the same room as the girls. I want them on the same bedtime because the girls get pretty cranky if you go into their room and don't take them out of it. Let me tell you, once DC gets going, she's nonstop. That girl can tantrum for hours. She's a determined little thing. I'm not sure that having Ziggy go to bed 2 hours later will be good for anyone - and I'd really like him to be able to put himself to bed for the night the way he can for naps (he goes into his bassinet awake for naps).

I'm not really getting the regression here.

In a way it makes me feel good; like he still needs me. Is that weird? I mean, I know he needs me, but I felt like we had a different type of bond when I was EBFing. Even though it was exhausting and grueling, it was just so strong. I kind of felt like making him CIO and take bottles made him grow up. Like I was forcing him to grow up or something. Maybe it's because he's most likely my last baby? Maybe because now I really know how fast it goes. I don't know. He's already looking like such a little boy to me now, not like a little baby any more.

It feels great that even though we've been through CIO and a difficult bottle transition, he still needs me for comfort - and that feels pretty damn good. But, I'm not sure how long I can continue to BF. Right now I'm Bfing for 20 minutes while simultaneously pumping on the other side - he then gets whatever I've pumped and then formula until he's full. The whole process takes about an hour. And it seems I'm pumping out less and less. And I'm constantly cleaning pump parts and bottles. And I admit it. I'm afraid of teeth. He's already taken to biting me (clamping down and twisting) and I'm not a fan. At all.

So that's where we're at with the sleeping and the feeding.

Other than that though, he's quite adorable and quite the charmer. He smiles and giggles so much! He loves getting his cheeks kisses and laughs. He loves when you roll him to swaddle him. He loves playing with his sisters - when they bring him toys and give him hugs and kisses. Also? He loves diaper changes. And when we say "wang" apparently. This cracks him up. Such a boy.

Us.

2011-06-11T08:55:00.000-04:00

Just sharing a little something that makes us, us.

Can you guess what happened?

Happy Friday!

Twenty Month Twins

2011-06-08T09:08:00.001-04:00

I swear time flies at warp speed once you have kids. You blink and they're more and more grown up; walking, talking, climbing and coming into their own.

Today my sweet, beautiful little girls are 20 months old. As you probably know, I like to document each passing month. I must admit, it's getting a bit trickier now that they not only ignore my camera, but can run away from it, too! To top it off, the bugs are absolutely insane this year - they're making it pretty miserable to be outside. That being said this was my shortest session to date. Neither of my girls like humidity. Or mosquitos. And I don't blame them one bit.

First up, my sweet little Scooter. She's so maternal, always caring for her baby brother and bringing DC her favorite toy when she gets upset. She loves to figure out how things work. She's fascinated by buckles and her morning routine involves buckling all that can be buckled in our house - the high chairs, the swing, the carseat - you name it and it's buckled.

She loves cuddling, but in short bursts. She backs herself up to you to sit on your lap. She likes to wash her own hair and brush her own teeth. She loves being outside, swinging on swings and going on the slide.

As proof of how much she hates bugs, her she is fighting off a mosquito (can you see that little speck on the left?)

Next up, my goofy little DC. She's a clingy one - she demands lots of cuddles. She's headstrong and fights for what she wants. She loves her dog and shows him often, whether it's doing "NIIII," hugging or even trying to give him kisses. She loves making him hyper and running around with him. She's more of a cautious one - doesn't like the swings at all anymore (despite her love for them as an infant), but loves to walk around like a big girl and explore on her own. She loves Pengy, giving her brother big hugs and tickling her Daddy's belly.

As I've mentioned, she's a total jokester. That, combined with the bugs and humidity made for nothing but out-takes for her this time around.

Eeek, I'm in the top 100+

2011-06-02T10:02:00.003-04:00

One of my images made the people's choice contest over at iheartfaces! How cool is that?

If you feel so inclined, please take a second to view the image and vote for me (#70/Danielle Frank) here: iheartfaces. To vote, just click the link that says "vote" under the image.

I think you'll recognize a familiar face :o)

Four months!

2011-06-01T11:37:00.001-04:00

A year ago today I got the surprise of a lifetime and you were just 2 pink lines on a pregnancy test. Today, you're 4 months (and 1 day) old. You're curious and don't like to be on your own for long. You always want to be involved with what your big sisters are doing. You love making eye contact and cooing and talking. You still love being swaddled and giggle every time I roll you on your side to tuck your blanket under you. It just melts my heart.

You're such a sweet little guy - a total cuddler. Mr. Big Eyes.

Why is it that baby boys always seem to have the thickest, longest lashes?

You've found your hands, and you love holding them.

You smile freely and often when you do, you lunge forward, I love it!

You look like such a little boy to me here; you're already growing up.

You do this thing where you hold your feet like their hands. It kills me. So cute.

And just for comparison's sake, my kids look so much alike. This is DC on the left at 14 weeks old and Ziggy on the right, at 17 weeks + 1 day (4 months). Definitely related!

Happy 4 month birthday, little man!

Post Pardum Belly Beauty

2011-05-25T07:46:00.002-04:00

"A mark for every breath you took, every blink, every sleepy yawn. One for every time you sucked your thumb, waved hello, closed your eyes and slept in the most perfect darkness. One for every time you had the hiccups. One for every dream you dreamed within me. It isn't very pretty anymore. Some may even think it ugly. That's OK. It was your home. It's where I first grew to love you, where I lay my hand as I dreamed about who you were and who you would be. It held you until my arms could, and for that, I will always find something beautiful in it."

He slept!

2011-05-25T07:07:00.003-04:00

My son, the anti-sleeper took a 2.5 hour nap yesterday. WITHOUT screaming first.

I then put him down later for a quick evening nap. I'm not sure he slept, but he didn't fuss.

Then at 8:00 pm, after his bath, I nursed him for 20 mins. I was going to offer him a bottle also, but he was drowsy. So we put him to bed. He WENT TO SLEEP, without a fight!!!!The same child that would scream and be up from 7:30am - 1 am many days, went to be at 8:30 pm without a fight.

OMG, can I just tell you how amazing that was? We did 1 day & night of CIO and it was agony, but I'm really hoping this worked.

He got up at 5:30 this morning, so I nursed him for 20 minutes and then gave him a bottle and now he's sitting in his swing (also unheard of).

BOO to the YA!

::does snoopy dance::

The only thing that would make this better would be if I could get out for a quick run now, but unfortunately since the hubs leaves for work early that's not possible.

In case anyone cares about our feeding plan - I'm currently nursing him for 20-30 mins (on 1 side b/c I have enough milk) and then I give him a bottle of either BM or formula (depending on if I have fresh BM - I've been pumping while feeding at the first feeding) and it's helping to 1) keep the feedings to about 45 minutes - 1 hour, which is better than before 2) allowing him to go longer between feedings (3-4 hours) and 3) allowing him to SLEEP and allowing me to not be worried that he didn't eat enough and not wanting to let him fuss if need be.

For my own records, he was 12 lbs 7 oz (up a POUND in 2 weeks) as of 5/23/11 - almost 4 months old (16 weeks).

Oh hey - turns out I kinda like sleep.

Sleep training

2011-05-24T11:03:00.004-04:00

Can we just take a minute to say how much sleep training SUCKS? Because it does.

Ziggy is 16 weeks now. Almost 4 months. And he sleeps like crap. No naps during the day and taking longer and longer to settle at night, like having days where he'd be up at 7:30 am and not going to sleep until 1:00 am. It's taking longer and longer to nurse him to sleep & everytime he'd get moved from me, he'd wake up. If he did nap, I was held prisoner to the couch. And it's just too much.

So yesterday we started sleep training. And right now, he's fussing in his bassinet because I'm trying to get him to nap. It's torture. It really is.

We bottle fed him yesterday so that I could know just how much he had eaten. It was important for me because I wanted to know I wasn't starving him if I was making him self soothe.

Last night he fussed for an hour, so we fed him a little more and put him back down, awake. He fussed for an hour and 45 minutes before he finally fell asleep. Then he started himself awake 17 minutes later, so we swaddle him and put him back in. 7 minutes later, he was asleep for the night.

He's so different than the girls were. He likes the swaddle, but isn't really into white noise or looking at his mobile. He only wants to be held.

The hubs thinks I cave more with him, that I'm different because he's a boy and the girls were girls. Maybe it's true. That my years of Sociology and Women's Studies are all a sham because I'm playing into gender norms.

Or maybe it's because I've been nursing him and I'm always worried he's hungry.
Or maybe it's because the girls had each other. They were in the crib together. And he's all alone.
Maybe it's because he smiles and coos at me and wraps me around his little finger, the way the girls did with my husband.
Maybe it's because he's the baby. Most likely my last baby.

I don't know.

I do know, that as hard as it is, he needs to sleep. Per the pediatrician, he should be getting 3-4 naps at this age, and he's not getting any.

His days in his bassinet are numbered and he'll need to move into the girls' room soon, so he needs to learn to go to sleep on his own. I can't be his human pacifier. I can't rely on putting him to sleep every night.

Sigh.

In my desperation last night I ordered Health Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I'm not sure when I'll find time to read it, but at least I'll have it for reference.

This is the face of the screaming culprit who just won't sleep:

Sunny nights

2011-05-17T14:06:00.003-04:00

I love watching them explore. I love spring nights. I love this lighting. I love fancy-pants shorts that no adult could pull off. I love DC's curiosity. I love it all.

Guilty.

Her little Hammy face

Head examination

2011-05-16T13:58:00.003-04:00

We took Ziggy to get his head examined today. For real. He has a little bump about 2 inches above his right ear that we need to go to a Craniofacial specialist about. When he was born, he had them on both sides, but the other one went away - so the pediatrician thought it would be a good idea to get it checked since it wasn't symmetrical. We used to joke that it was like little devil horns.

It's not really much to look at and is barely noticeable (about 1 cm).

I was really hoping (and kind of expecting) to go today and have them tell us it was nothing to be worried about and send us on our merry way. Which kind of happened. The good news is that the Dr. said it's most likely benign. But we need to come back to monitor it and make sure it doesn't get bigger. If he starts losing weight, having diarrhea or bloody stools we'll have to bring him in. At around a year he may need to get some imaging of it (catscan or something). It's unlikely that the bump will go away and is most likely some tissue that was supposed to go to his scalp but fused to the bone instead.

He also said Ziggy's been favoring one side of his head so we have to do some exercises with him (although I don't even really see the mild flat spot he was talking about - and I'm pretty sure it has to do with which side he prefers to nurse on. And it has nothing to do with how he'd prefer to hold his head, it has to do with the "better" producing boob). I've seen him sleep with his head in both directions, but I don't want him to be asymmetrical or anything.

So, I'm a little concerned about it, he's my baby and I don't want anything to be wrong. He looks perfect to me.

In other news, I just spent $10 on a stupid pacifier from amazon because I can't find it in store anywhere. This will be the 5th one we've tried. PLEASE let this one be it!

19 Months

2011-05-15T13:21:00.002-04:00

Both girls standing in one place, smiling and no screaming? I can hardly believe it!

They look so grown up to me now. Such big girls. With crazy hair.

It's easier being a formula mom

2011-05-14T17:34:00.004-04:00

For me, anyway. It feels my kids up more and faster and lets them sleep.

I've been breastfeeding Ziggy exclusively for 2ish months (we supplemented with formula for the first month or so). And it's been non stop. Feeding for hours on end. Everyone said it gets easier at 6 weeks, they said that at 8 weeks, then again at 3 months. Well, he's 15 weeks now and you know what? It's not easier. This morning he woke up at 4:30 (thank you neighbors for letting your stupid yappy dog out. No, really. Thank you. Assmunch.) So I nursed him. And nursed him. And nursed him some more. Until he finally fell asleep at 7:00 am.

Feedings should not take that long. They just shouldn't. And that's when milk flow is the fastest.

All of my days are spent nursing. I have zero time to myself. He's always on me. The girls naptimes are spent with him on me. In the rare event he naps, it's on me because once I move him, he wakes and we start the process all over again.

I've seen LC's, gone to support groups, etc. The advice I get is to not let the feedings be endless - but if they're not, he's crying. And I hate the crying, especially when there's a way to make it stop.

Oh, and have I mentioned that he's on Zantac now for reflux? He hates it and spits it out. Sometimes with mass quantities of breastmilk. And do you know what that means? He's cleared room for more.

So this afternoon, I'm experimenting. He just took 4oz of formula, which is more oz-wise than he usually takes (because he HATES bottles and usually gets about 2.5 oz from me in 40 minutes). And he's taken a quick nap (20 minutes) and is now fussing again. I thought this could solve my problem, and give me more "me" time. We'll see.

I need to figure out what's BEST for us, for this family. Right now, I feel stretched too thin. I feel like I can't continue things the way they are. I know what it's like to formula feed. And how it is to formula feed a reflux-y baby. And I know the girls were on a schedule by this point and taking naps (Ziggy doesn't nap).

But his current screaming is making me wonder if this isn't a solution after all.

Naptime schmaptime

2011-05-12T12:44:00.000-04:00

SAHMs - do you ever feel like naptime is such a...waste of time? The girls have always been decent nappers and so often I would think "man, I'd love to go for a run NOW. Too bad I can't just leave them in the house while they nap."

Now they're napping upstairs and it's BEAUTIFUL out. I want to go for a quick run (sans whining) and I can't. In fact, because the babe will only nap on me (which is what he's doing now) I can't even move.

I hate that. It makes me feel like I'm wasting such a pretty day.

Happy hour vs. Run

2011-05-11T12:35:00.003-04:00

First, I just wanted to post Little Miss I don't pose for your Camera:

But hey, she likes to explore and that's cute, no?

Have I mentioned how much I love Starbucks? How I jumped for joy to become a rewards member because, hi! Free drinks! And how even though I'm still drinking exclusively decaf (because I'm almost certain that when I have caffeine the little man is up all night), I still enjoy some iced coffee, frappucino or other delicious beverage.

So, imagine my conundrum yesterday - should I go to happy hour (hello, half priced frap!) or run. Er. I wanted the frap. But instead, I ran. I'm proud of my choice, too. And I made it a whole 1.2 miles pushing little dude before I needed a water break/ipod insertion break (the ipod was low on charge and he screams, so I was saving it until he started complaining. Note to self: charge iPod all the time!). I did 2.2 miles total and I'm feeling it today, but I did it, so I'm proud of myself.

I'm really hoping to make some positive changes. Exercise 3x/week and watch what I eat. Mainly, I want to curb snacking after the girls go to bed because this is my weakness. Some days I barely eat, so after they go to bed and I'm feeding the wee one, I eat. And not just apples, but ice cream, popcorn, etc. It's not good.

So, hopefully I can stay motivated. I'd love to see the scale go down, because honestly, that sucker has barely been moving. The only reason it moved recently is because I got the stomach bug.

But, we do go to Sbux frequently. Probably once a week or so. I love it, it's something the husband and I did before kids and it's nice to go now to have some kind of semblance of our former lives, you know? The girls have their snacks and wave to everyone that comes in the door and I can feed the little man while sipping an iced coffee.

Can you tell who's who? (Hint: they're wearing different clothes)

In other news, the girls are 19 months! I managed to get some nice shots of them, so I'll post soon-ish.

Cause you've got...PERSONALITY

2011-05-03T10:45:00.003-04:00

At the risk of sounding like a douche, I never really got it when people would say "it looks like her personality is coming through!" Because it was always there (and here's the douche part) and I think it's easier to see with twins. Maybe because there's something to compare it to? I'm not sure, but now that I'm the mom of twins and the mom of a singleton, I can say it was MUCH easier for me to see the personalities of the girls from day 1 than it was/is with Ziggy.

Scooter was our little alarm clock. She was pretty easy going (and still is, for the most part) unless she was hungry. Then at 3 hours on the dot she'd scream her crying caterpillar scream and we'd feed them. DC was (and still is) much more demanding. She wants what she wants when she wants it and she'll scream until she gets it. Whoever said that tantrums only last 3 minutes (I'm looking at you, Parents magazine) never met DC. I've timed them. It can be 20 minutes - and then, honestly, I'm losing it so I'll cave. But she's always been like that. She wanted to be in the swing as an infant and she'd scream til we put her there. If she didn't want to go to bed, she'd scream the whole time we'd try getting her to go to bed.

So, when the pediatrician or other people would say something like "I think their personalities are starting to come out!" at like 4 months old, the husband and I would just blink at each other, because we both knew - they already had shown their personalities - since the day they were born. Sure, more and more is revealed and they show their opinions more now that they have them - but even from the getgo there were several traits that were just there - that we just knew about them, and that haven't changed 18 months later.

Maybe it's a twin thing?

I can also say that it's MUCH harder to tell what Ziggy's personality will be like - maybe because I don't really have another infant to do a side by side comparison? I know he's clingy and likes to eat. But as he gets older, I'm seeing more and more - like he loves his sisters. He loves when they come over to him to play with him. He loves when they push him in his swing. He smiles at them and laughs when they tickle him. He doesn't want to be left out, ever. And I'm thinking that's why he wanted to be held all the time - maybe he just felt excluded since everyone was paired off during the day.

And I know I shouldn't be comparing my kids. I know that. But I'm human. And when you have two children that are the same exact age from the same gene pool, it's hard not to compare. And it's hard not to recognize similarities in your 3rd infant to your previous 2.

Little man: 3 months old

2011-05-02T10:22:00.001-04:00

I can hardly believe that my little man is already 3 months old! It feels like he's been a part of our family forever. He's a cuddler, a ladies man and a total flirt.

Should I be concerned that he's already fist pumping? Maybe I watched too much Jersey Shore when I was pregnant :)

I just love his little swirl.

He also celebrated his 3 month birthday with his very first giggles - one of the sweetest sounds in the world. He's ticklish, in case you were wondering :o)

The saga continues

2011-04-28T09:11:00.002-04:00

The breastfeeding saga, that is. I'm not really sure why I'm writing this, except that I just need to get it out. This whole thing is just so much more emotional that I ever thought it would be.

I'm still BFing the baby. Exclusively. But, it's STILL not easy. He's only a few days shy of 3 months old and is nursing all of my waking hours. Even though he's usually STTN for 10 hours (although last night he only slept 4. I can't tell if it's b/c I removed the sleep positioner or because he took an hour nap yesterday...), all he wants to do when he's awake is nurse. Still won't take a paci, either.

Typically, he'll get up around 9 and nurse. I get the girls fed (take a nursing break) and continue nursing - a lot of times until it's time to make the girls lunch. Then I spend all of their nap time nursing him, and it just goes on and on until he finally falls asleep at 10:30 pm (or, 1 am in last night's case).

I don't want to lose the bond and I'm struggling with the idea of giving him bottles, but I think it needs to be done. I'm literally spending all of the girls waking hours feeding their brother, and that's not fair to them. I'm their mother too.

Also, he's not gaining the way I want him to. Yes, he's peeing and pooping and sleeping and the pediatrician wasn't concerned. But I am. It goes against my Womens Studies minor, but I don't want a small boy - I want a healthy boy - not one that looks underfed. Granted, he doesn't look underfed now, but he only gained 3 ounces in a week. That's not enough right now, to me. I'm used to chubby babies, the way the girls were. I've done milk weights on him and the most I've seen him take in from a 40 minute feeding is 2.5 ounces. I think he needs more.

For a while I was thinking I didn't want to pump and bottle (I did that at the beginning) because it's more work. But is it really? If I'm sitting here nursing him all day long, isn't is less work to pump while giving him a bottle? Even with cleaning the pump, I'm looking at a 45 minute feeding, instead of 1-2 hours (and less interruptions from the girls).

He doesn't nap, if he does, it's only on me so I'm feeling like a prisoner on my own couch (and I HATE this couch).

I'm worried that pumping and fewer nursing sessions will hurt my supply, because I'm so scarred from my lack of supply with the girls.

I have about 90 bags of stored milk in the freezer, so my hope is that even if I decided to give up Bfing tomorrow, I can give him 1 bag of milk/day and he'd make it to 6 months having some breastmilk. I know I'm not going to give up tomorrow, but still, I feel like the freezer supply is my safety net.

So, today I planned to start giving him 2-3 bottles/day, pump while bottling. I don't want to give up the bonding completely and I'm really scared that after he gets bottles more consistently he won't want me anymore. I'm thinking of keeping his first feeding a nursing session (the milk flow is faster, so hopefully he won't get annoyed that I'm not a bottle) and keeping his evening nursing session (when he's more full from the day so hopefully he won't be aggravated by slower flow). This way I can have the best of both worlds. Hopefully. But I could be delusional and this may not work. Who knows.

Of course the day when I decide to start this master plan he's already off his normal schedule, nursing for the 3rd time already when it's normally his first nursing. We'll see how it goes.

Yesterday he weight 11 lbs 1.5 ounces - there's another BFing meeting in 2 weeks and I intend to weigh him then to double check and hope that this new plan gets more meet on his bones. All I want is 1 ounce a day. That's it.

Easter and things

2011-04-27T10:34:00.002-04:00

Some things that have been going on:

1) DC's barking. Yup, you read that right. My child barks. Like a dog (thank you, Baxter). She'd see Baxter bark at the vacuum and other loud noises, so now she barks at the vacuum on sight: "Wooo wooo woo!!!" She's also barked in the middle of Starbucks when the coffee grinder goes off and yesterday she spent all of naptime barking at the lawnmowers outside.

2) They're growing! Scooter is in the 50% percentile for height and 75% for weight. DC is 25% for height and 50% for weight - both rockin a 90% noggin. Ziggy? He's 50% for everything.

3) The girls LOVE Elmo. LOVE.

4) Easter - the girls got tricycles, helmets, magnadoodles and a stuffed duck. I know it seems a little excessive, but they have fall birthdays, so I we figured it was good timing for the trikes.

This was our Easter.

Catching up, picture style

2011-04-26T14:09:00.004-04:00

Hmm, it seems I've been slacking. Between nursing the babe 24/7, work and toddler wrangling, there just hasn't been much time for this poor, neglected blog.

So, here's what you missed, picture style. Grab some popcorn, it's going to be a long post.

First off, the girls turned 18 months! (yes, they're about to be 19 months soon - but hey! I took the pictures on time).

DC, at 18 months you're funny, smart and our little jokester. You love dancing to Katy Perry, pushing your sister on your scooter and giving hugs.

Your hair is curling more and more and your lashes are getting so long and thick.

And, as always, you are the queen of silly faces!

My sweet little Scooter, in the woods. She is such a happy little girl, with so much compassion and empathy - things I've never thought could be displayed by an 18 month old girl.

Scooter, you are the definition of Sweetheart.

My son is the king of "Sad Face:"
I know it's not exactly the happiest looking face, but it's one I see often. It's him. This little man right here? This face? That's pretty much the face he gives me when I'm not the one holding him.

The "why are you doing this to me?" face. He's a true Mama's boy and is happiest either eating or being held (preferably by his Mama).

Being held by someone else? Well, he deals with it. Sometimes. If he has to. See?

And one of my favorite portraits ever of DC:

I have Easter pictures to post and stories to tell, but for now this will have to do. It's finally warm here, so I'm hoping to put on some clothes I'm not totally embarrassed to be seen outside in and head out for a walk after the girls get up from their nap.

One of "Those" Days

2011-04-14T14:20:00.003-04:00

Today is one of 'em. One where I feel like I don't know what I'm doing. If I'm doing the right thing. When I'm lonely and annoyed at the world. Where I feel like I could just lose it. Or cry. Or both.

It's been a long week with no end in sight. The girls are cranky, the baby wants nothing but the boob and I just want 5 minutes without whining or someone touching me.

Yesterday Scooter took a tumble after she broke through the gate and fell down some stairs. It was horrific, but she's fine. Just 2 small scratches on her forehead. The husband was gone pretty much all of their waking hours. DC decided that she needed to start screaming for no reason whenever she gets put in her crib and the baby wouldn't go to sleep and when he finally did - he woke up at 4:00am (he had been STTN) and then I couldn't fall back asleep.

And that brings me to today. It started off by getting the girls up and then the boy. Giving the girls breakfast while simultaneously BFing and pumping on one side (I have a job Sat. morning which means that I need to pump so I can be gone for a bit). I hate pumping. And I'm not a fan of pumping while BFing either, but if I didn't I wouldn't pump at all for Saturday.

The girls don't listen to me, at all. Yes, I realize they're toddlers, but still. If I scold DC for doing something, Scooter has to go and do the exact same thing. It drives me bonkers. Today's no-no of choice was standing on chairs and pushing them into things while I nursed the baby. After interrupting his nursing session for the 1ooth time, I took their favorite toys away for a minute for not listening. Screaming ensued. I'm not even sure it was the right thing to do - will it get the point across? I don't know. But it's insanely difficult to manage simultaneous time outs with an infant that needs food, so that's what I did. DC was oddly non challant about losing Pengy. I think she's "fighting" with him again.

Then I nearly lost it on Scooter who insisted on shaking all gates in the house - until she finally knocked one down (on herself). It wasn't a big deal, it was only to keep them out of the kitchen, but my god child - why must you be so destructive? Why? Why do you insist on doing things that WILL get you hurt, repeatedly? You already made it so one of our gates no longer latches automatically. I have plenty of grey hairs, thank you very much. I'd appreciate if you'd kindly not insist on knocking down the gates we have to keep you safe!

And then DC insisted, again, that nap time = scream time. Clean, well fed, just wants to scream and angerly through Pengy out of her crib at me. All the while Ziggy cries to be fed for the billionth time and the dog whines to go out.

And that brings me to know, Ziggy on me, writing this. Wishing I could enjoy some of the sunshine instead of sitting on my couch. Hoping tomorrow brings less stress. Hoping I get the time to prepare for an upcoming job and wondering what I'm doing.

More to come...

2011-04-08T21:53:00.001-04:00

My beautiful girls, you're 18 months old today!

You're beautiful, funny, smart and you each have a crazy head of hair :o)

To be continued...

Flap pooper

2011-04-07T13:10:00.004-04:00

2 out of 3 of my children are flap poopers. If you cloth diaper, maybe you know what I mean. If you don't - here's the run down. The pocket diapers have a little flap over the pocket that you stuff the insert in. It's not very big, maybe 2 inches? It's supposed to stay clean, this way, you can easily remove the insert from the diaper and put both into the pail. I could show you a picture, but I'll spare you the yuckiness and let you use your imagination on this one.

But now. Two out of my three children insist on pooping on the flap, so there's not really a clean way to remove the insert.

The funny part? When we first had Ziggy's ultrasound, we both thought he looked like DC. When he was born, we thought he looked like DC. Now? Yup, they look alike. And they're the flap poopers. Maybe it's how they're built? Maybe it's because they both require a lot of attention, in every way?

So there you go, TMI Thursday! You're welcome.

Making a comeback

2011-03-29T13:32:00.003-04:00

Ziggy's hair, that is.

See?

Adios male patterned baldness!

This is pretty much what this child looks like all.day.long. He doesn't sleep at all during the day. Not a wink. If by some miracle he does fall asleep, it's on my lap and then I'm either 1) terrified to move because he's the lightest sleeper ever (sidenote to those expecting and already have a toddler - I was worried about the baby waking the girls - it's the other way around. Their shrieking, banging things together, whining, etc. wakes him up all.the.time) or 2) It's only for the small amount of time it takes to clean up the girls/change diapers and then he's back to wanting to eat again.

He gets so bored, so quickly. He's getting better with the swing..like sometimes he'll give me 10 minutes in it. Same with the playmat. Being held though? He never tires of that. But he doesn't like being worn. Go figure. And with nursing? I'm still not able to really do that hands free either. It's like he senses when I want to do something else (like eat yogurt, or something best done with 2 hands) and he immediately throws a fit/delatches. Sigh.

I'm pretty sure he's going to be a giant ball of energy when he gets older. Maybe that's the difference between boys and girls?

Everyone said this nursing thing would get easier after 6-8 weeks. I'm still waiting.

Oh, and everyone said that breastfeeding helps you lose weight. I'm still waiting for that, too.

They way they are

2011-03-24T10:42:00.003-04:00

I wanted to write a post about how wonderful the girls have been welcoming their little brother. Mainly to remind myself when I get stressed, which happens more than I'd like. Especially now that the girls have mastered the art of whining and Ziggy requires most of my attention during the day.

They've both become so maternal, it's amazing to watch.

The other day I was in the kitchen making their lunch while Ziggy screamed in the swing (he hates the swing). I looked over and saw both girls over there and started talking to them, trying to get them away from him. When I got near the swing I noticed that DC had 3 pacifiers in her hand and Scooter had one - which she was trying to put in Ziggy's mouth.

DC often tries to swing him in the swing or rock him in the car seat (which he hates, but how amazing is it that she's trying to care for him like that?)

Scooter has taken to carrying her Mickey Mouse like it's a baby (over her shoulder). She swaddles him in her blanket and tries to burp him. She also tries to burp DC and Ziggy.

They both love coming over to him, giving him pets, hugs and kisses. It's amazingly sweet to watch. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought it was possible to have such maternal qualities at the ripe old age of 17 months. Never.

Happy St. Patty's Day!

2011-03-23T12:50:00.002-04:00

Normally my children avoid me and my camera like the plague. "Look at Mommy" usually gets them to promptly find anything and everything else that's more interesting at the time - sticks, toys, each other, you name it - they look everywhere but in my direction.

Which is why I had to share these. Them being themselves, hamming it up - and even looking at me.

From my little leprechauns to yours, I hope you had a Happy St. Patty's Day!

Ohh, and look what I got for my 29th birthday - all 3 sans meltdown! Wahoo!

His 5 week post

2011-03-18T14:39:00.002-04:00

This one's a bit older, but I wanted to post it anyway. It's good to be the king.

And here's my little man at 5 weeks - complete with flaky skin and receding hairline (boo! Why must all of my babies lose their hair?)

It's a tough job, being this cute. But someone's gotta do it.

Aren't baby yawns the best? Well, that and baby smiles. And giggles. Okay, okay, I'm a sucker for all things baby, I admit it. But I love capturing these moments because I know that soon his expressions will change. He'll have more hair. His eyes will be a different color. Before I know it, he'll never look like this again.

Some notes about these images in case you're wondering: I'm not a studio photographer, I'm on location only. This is not a studio set up, merely a location with good lighting, a wall and a table.

Hello there!

Rambling

2011-03-16T15:49:00.005-04:00

I'm not even sure what to title this - but this mom of three thing? Hard stuff.

I don't have time for myself. And not just wah, I want a mani time to myself - like I don't have time to pee. Somedays it's 3:00 before I realize I haven't even had the chance to brush my teeth. If I attempt a bit of exercise, there's crying and I start thinking that I don't even deserve 20 minutes to myself. Same with showering. It's enough to make you crazy.

A few days ago I decided I'm getting over Ziggy's contstant need to eat - as in, nurse for an hour, then get pumped breastmilk, then formula. It's just getting to be too much to do that all the time. It's making me feel like 1) there's no break 2) it has to be one or the other 3) I have very little time for my girls 4) I can't leave the house b/c it's annoying to go through all those feeding steps while out the few times we do leave the house).

I know I have milk. I know it's there. In addition to how he was eating, I was also pumping morning and night and would get anywhere from 2.5-8.5 ounces in one pumping session depending on when he nursed last. And I want to quit pumping because 1) I have 75 bags in my freezer 2) I'm over it. So now I'm just doing a shorter session in the morning if I feel I need it.

For the past 2 days I've EBFed. He's on me all.the.time. Like 9am-11:30 pm. If I take a shower he screams. If I put him down, he cries. God help me if I want to take 20 minutes to do a workout video and have some time to myself (he cries the whole time). Don't I deserve a few minutes of quiet to attempt to get a somewhat human body back?

Part of me wonders if I should just quit. But he seemed to always want food even with the bottle (and those of you who say it's just the 6 week growth spurt, it's not. He's like this all the time). He doesn't like the swing, bouncy seat, carseat, being in a stroller and he won't take a paci (as I write this, he's nursing and I've sent the husband to buy yet another type of pacifier to see if that will work). He'll only sleep on me during the day (he just fell asleep). He doesn't like to be worn.

I wonder if he's getting enough food now that I've pulled him from the bottle. He's had plenty of wet and dirty diapers and it's been more than 48 hours now that he's been EBF. And he slept both nights. So I'm assuming he's probably getting enough? When I was giving him a bottle post nursing sessions I'm not sure if he would have just been fussy if I hadn't? Why is this so confusing???

I really just want the feedings to be one or the other. He'll nurse for HOURS. I'm taking him off when he gets lazy and am making him be more active during nursing in hopes that he'll get more efficient or to teach him he can't be on me all waking hours. What else can I do? Does anyone out there have any pointers on how to make him more efficient? I can deal with an hour of nursing if it means an hour that he's not on me before we repeat the process.

And now that he's snoring on my lap, it's time to get the girls up from their nap which means I'll move him and when I'm upstairs changing their diapers and getting snacks ready, he'll cry. WAH.

17 Month post

2011-03-11T13:53:00.000-05:00

My sweet baby girls are 17 months old. It seems like they've entered the toddler stage overnight. I swear they instantly became more grown up the day I walked in the door with their baby brother (although my husband thinks I'm imagining that).

Since things are still chaotic over here (how could it not be with two 17 month olds and a 5 week old?) this was a quick session, and a bit more dramatic that usual, but I have to say - I like it.

My sweet little Scooter - so independent and generally happy, you find several reasons a day to giggle and laugh. You're new favorite thing to do is to run all over the house holding toys and giggling all the way. You have a temper though, whining in frustration when you can't do what you're trying to accomplish (like accidentally building megablocks in a way that they won't fit together) and throwing things when you're frustrated. You also still love to steal your whatever toy your sister is playing with at the time.

You love your baby brother and pet him often. You give him your toys. You sit in his carseat like it's a little recliner. You even help hold his bottle! Happy 17 months, Scooter!

And my funny little DC, you love to make us laugh and have a deep hearty chuckle. You know what you're not supposed to do, and even though you try to get away with it, you listen when we tell you no (actually, you keep walking and pretend you weren't about to get into trouble in the first place). You demand attention - when you want to be held, there is nothing else that can distract you. Unfortunately with your walking skills comes some tumbles, which means more breath holding spells - not easy on you or us. Daddy has taken to calling you his fainting goat. While I want to preserve your childhood, that's one trait I'm willing to have you grow out of immediately.

You've both taken on the role of big sister incredibly well, playing together and laughing at each other when we need to tend to your brother. I love watching your relationship grow. I know you talk to and understand each other, which is amazing to watch.

And now for a side by side comparison of my sweet girls. I'm often asked if they're identical (they're not). Strangers have fought me on it, saying they look the same. While I do think they look like siblings, I think the differences are easy to spot.

Let me tell you about my best friend!

2011-03-09T12:47:00.001-05:00

It's amazing how friendships develop, isn't it? How one day you're strangers and the next day you're inseparable - going everything together, sharing your secrets. That's what best friends are - they just get you.

Last Easter, Uncle Kevin gave DC a pink penguin for Easter. That little ball of fluff sat relatively unnoticed for a few months until one day, he and she became attached at the flipper. She brings him everywhere, she gets upset if he's missing, she loves him more than life itself. He is her first best friend.

She loves him so much, in fact, that the other day when I, her mother, asked for a kiss, she promptly handed me Pengy to hold and kissed him instead.

See? Inseparable.

She's actually hugging Pengy here.

Do you remember your first best friend?

Sometimes it feels like the worst of both worlds

2011-03-01T13:12:00.004-05:00

Breastfeeding, that is. At least for me.

By this time with the girls I had thrown in the towel for lack of supply. In case you're new or don't remember my prior experience and wish you could, it is basically summed up here.

This time, I do have a supply, although it took some time. 3.0 did lose weight in the hospital (10.2% over 5ish days). The night we brought him home, I was nursing him and just knew he wasn't getting enough food, I felt desperate (albeit not as bad as I did with the girls) and had my husband get him some formula. At that point my milk hadn't really even come in and I was beginning to doubt it even would. I just don't make enough for my ravenous babies.

A few days, a bunch of fenugreek and pumping sessions later, it came in. But he was still ravenous. So, when he needs it after a nursing session, he's given some breastmilk followed by formula (typically 1 oz of breastmilk and 2 oz of formula). I thought I had undersupply because he's always so hungry.

I may have a bit of oversupply this time meaning that he's not getting the hindmilk at the end, so I've since scaled back on fenugreek and am only pumping 2x/day. I can't have him nurse as long as he wants all the time (because it would be hours and that's just not possible with twins that also require parenting, not to mention attention), so this has been the plan.

And honestly, I'm fine with it. I'm fine with giving him formula and not EBFing. At this point, if I were to give up BFing, I'd have to wean because otherwise I'm told I'll end up with mastitis and that doesn't really sound like my idea of a good time. Realistically though, I'm not even sure I could give it up if I wanted to because I'm discovering that often times it's the only way to get him to sleep at night (nurse, supplement, put it bassinet, cry, nurse for 5 mins - sleep).

Concerned he wasn't really getting anything during nursing sessions, I went to a nursing support group and did a milk weight check. After 10 minutes, he was up 1.5 ounces - so, it's official, he's just always hungry.

What feels like the worst of both worlds is doing it all and how unpredictable it is. If we want to go out, I'll nurse him (thanks to a free uddercover), but then we also have to be prepared with bottles and supplies. So many breastfeeding enthusiasts are all "you're boobs are always there, it's so much easier!" but that's not the case with me. Even just bottle feeding is easier than what we're doing now. But, it is what it is, I want him to get some breastmilk since I have it and all.

I'm not entirely sure why I'm even writing this, except maybe to say that it's not always easier, even though my boobs are with me all the time.

Oh, and he was four weeks old yesterday, so he's a quick snap of my little man, complete with baby acne and flaking skin (I fear male pattern baldness is right around the corner, he's following the same path the girls did).

My loves

2011-02-28T16:48:00.001-05:00

Newborn Photoshoot!

2011-02-21T09:21:00.001-05:00

He's 3 weeks old today! Now that the birth announcements have gone out, I can finally share his newborn photos:

The birth story...oh, and his name!

2011-02-18T14:41:00.004-05:00

Sorry, I've been a bad blogger. I know. I've been wanting to post all of this, but I also really wanted to do so with pictures from his newborn session.

But, having 3 kids 16 months and under doesn't leave me with a ton of time, so I haven't gotten the birth announcements out yet - which means, no pictures from the newborn shoot for now. At least not until family has seen them. It's only fair, right? The only reason I'm able to even post this now is because the girls are napping and 3.0 is snoozing on my lap after an hour long nursing session and I'm afraid if I move he'll wake up again...so, here it is:

We were initially scheduled for a c-section on 2/3, but I had decided that if I went into labor on my own and was admitted at a decent progress (7cm or so) I’d attempt a VBAC. As the time got closer, I realized that I did kind of want a VBAC and was getting disappointed because I showed absolutely no labor signs or symptoms and just generally felt great.

On 1.30 we got a call that my SIL had the fastest labor ever (about 4 hours start to finish) and delivered our nephew (we had the same EDD). We went to see them and he’s perfect, healthy and beautiful. I was SO happy for them, but at the same time a little disappointed that I wouldn’t experience labor myself. Even if I didn’t end up with a VBAC, I at least wanted to know what labor felt like (I never had more than a BH contraction with the girls).

As we left, DH joked that maybe it was contagious and that I’d catch the labor bug. I really didn’t think it was going to happen and was a little sulky about it. I was already 39w2d and come on, I kept the girls in for 38 weeks and I'm pretty sure they'd still be in there if they hadn't been forcefully removed.

That night I had trouble sleeping and around 3:00 or 4:00 I had what I though could have been a contraction. Maybe. It happened about 7 more times before DH’s alarm went off around 6:00. When he got up, I told him I was having some cramping and wasn’t sure if I should have him go to work or not. I told him to go, but started timing contractions (I still wasn’t positive they were contractions, but was pretty sure, they felt like really bad menstrual cramps, but hadn’t made their way to my back or anything and I *could* talk through them, I just didn’t want to). After I realized they were 4-8 minutes apart, lasting 45 seconds to 1:15 minutes, I told DH that maybe he shouldn’t go to work and maybe I should call L&D to see what they said. I felt bad having him take a day off, especially because I wasn’t sure this was it. After 1.5 hours of timing, I called L&D and they said to come in.

I called my mom (who didn’t answer, naturally) and woke her up - at 7:45am. She was so out of it that she asked: “Oh, so you’re going to the hospital? Do you want me to come up then?” Uhm, yes, that was the point of the call...

It took my mom a good hour to get there b/c she had to get ready and by the time I got into the car, they were 3 minutes apart and getting pretty uncomfortable.

I was admitted around 9:30am and was only 1 cm, 80% effaced and -3 station. So, we decided that if I made good progress that I’d opt VBAC, if not, I really didn’t want to be in labor for a long time and then have to get a c/s, so I’d opt c/s if I didn’t progress. The contractions started coming on longer and every 2 minutes now. I was checked at 11:00 and had made no progress, so I decided a c/s was probably the way to go. The contractions got worse as I waited, but the c/s started around 12:30.

I am SO glad I opted c/s. While I was being operated on, the Dr. said my incision was paper thin (even had DH take a look, it was see through, apparently) and I likely would have ruptured during a VBAC which would have resulted in an emergency c/s.

While we waited, I asked DH if he had any last minutes guesses. We were both thinking girl. And then it happened. If anyone is on the fence about going team green, I highly recommend it. Hearing what the baby is at that moment is just such an incredible feeling. They said “It’s a BOY!” and I just couldn’t believe it (even though I did have a dream it was a boy). He is just so perfect. He looked like Delaney when they held him up, but much bigger than the girls when they were born.

He’s perfect in every way. He was born at 12:56pm at 7 lbs 15.8 oz and 19.5 inches long. After I was stitched up I met up with DH and him in the recovery room and was able to start bfing about 45 minutes after his birth. He has a ton of hair, DH’s nose and ears – and well, looks a lot like DH.

We spent a couple of hours getting to know him before naming him, but once I had laid eyes on him, I just knew he was an Ethan.

I am totally in love.

3.0 has arrived!

2011-02-09T21:28:00.003-05:00

Baby boy arrived 1/31/11. 7 lbs 15.8 oz and 19.5 inches of pure perfection. We are totally in love.

My onlys

2011-01-30T14:20:00.001-05:00

With the upcoming arrival of our third child, I thought it would be nice to capture the girls one last time as our "onlys." Their last images before they become big sisters.

DC in her natural element - being goofy, doing only what she wants to do, and avoiding the camera.

And my sweet little Scooter, humoring me and nice and comfy.

As the time approaches, I think it's safe to say we're excited. Excited to meet our next child, find out what's been cookin' these last nine months and watch our family grow.

But I think there's also a sense of guilt. At 15 months old, the girls have no idea what is in store for them. They'll likely get much less attention in the upcoming weeks/months, etc. and will go from being our only children to being big sisters. They'll go from being our babies to being big girls.

This will most likely be the last picture of them together before our lives are forever changed. It may not be the best, but it's them at this point in time.

39 weeks and LAST check-in

2011-01-28T16:33:00.006-05:00

How far along: 39 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: -1 lb this week. OMG, right? So, +30lbs by my scale or +35ish at the Drs.
Maternity clothes: yup
Stretch marks: Getting darker.
Sleep: I'd like more
Best moment this week: Feeling the baby, the dance party has returned!
Movement: Yup, lots.
Food cravings: Orange juice. I've had 4 glasses today.
Food aversions: none right now
Gender: Today I say girl. Or boy.
Belly Button in or out: so out.
What I miss: Not having major back/hip pain.
What I am looking forward to: Meeting this baby! IN LESS THAN A WEEK!
Weekly Wisdom: Don't get your heart set on anything. I decided that if I make progress on my own, I'd try for a VBAC. But, as of yesterday there's NO PROGRESS. Not even an teeny tiny centimeter. I'm fine with having a c-section, but am giving up on going into labor on my own.

38 weeks!!!

2011-01-21T14:07:00.004-05:00

I know what you're thinking: HOLY CRAP - look how much more STUFF is in her living room. Same shirt for comparisons sake - this is my last chance to compare so I figured, might as well!

How far along: 38 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: 31lbs by my scale, 36 by the Drs.
Maternity clothes: yup
Stretch marks: Present!
Sleep: Insomnia has set in. WAHHH.
Best moment this week: Feeling the baby!
Movement: Yup, lots.
Food cravings: Sweets and OJ
Food aversions: none right now
Gender: Today I say boy.
Belly Button in or out: so out.
What I miss: Not having major back/hip pain.
What I am looking forward to: Meeting this baby!
Weekly Wisdom: Stop procrastinating!!! (this is more of a note to myself).
Milestones: Well, the girls were born at 8:46 and 8:47 am at 38 weeks - which means, that as of RIGHT NOW, I'm officially more pregnant than I've ever been! Weird, right?

The C-Section vs VBAC Debate

2011-01-19T15:37:00.003-05:00

Let me start by saying, I am scheduled for a c-section. I planned on having a c-section, partly because it's what I know. Partly because it's been less than 2 years since I had the twins. And partly because, until recently, the baby was breech. No brainer, right?

Yea, we'll now the baby is head down. So, this time, I have the option. Which is kind of weird in a way because I didn't really have the option to deliver vaginally last time since baby A was breech. And in a way, I don't like having the option. Having the option means the chance of making the wrong choice and having a harder recovery.

So, I've been giving it a lot of thought. And since I'm scheduled for only 1 day before my EDD with a Dr. that I love, I'll have a c-section on that day. If I go into labor earlier and waltz into the hospital 7cm dilated or more, I'll try for a VBAC. If I go into labor earlier and get to the hospital at like, 1 cm - I'll just go the c-section route again. Honestly, I had a great recovery, I know what to expect, so that's that. I kind of like leaving it up to fate a bit, I guess.

The only part I really don't like is that if I ever get pregnant again (not saying I'm going to, just haven't made a definite decision yet), I'd automatically have a c-section with the next pregnancy. So, in reality, this decision not only decides how this baby is born, but how any future (if there is one) child is born too - and that just seems like an awful lot of pressure riding on this one decision.

Part of me really wants to go on my own, if for nothing else to experience some labor. I know, maybe that sounds totally crazy, but the thought of having 3 children and never experiencing labor just seems odd to me. And maybe to give myself a chance to go VBAC, if I decide to and the stars align. But part of me doesn't even want to have to make the decision because I'm afraid of making the wrong choice. Like what if I opt VBAC and need a c-section anyway? I'm looking at a worse recovery - and I'll have 2 toddlers and a newborn to take care of. I don't want to make it worse on myself, you know?

But, the reality is there's been absolutely no progress, so it's very likely I'll make it to the schedule date. (Incidentally though, my LMP EDD is 1/23 which is 12 days earlier than the u/s EDD). So, in my head, I could (and maybe should?) go into labor before the scheduled date.

If anyone's had a VBAC and would like to chime in with your experience, please feel free.

37 weeks - Full Term!

2011-01-14T11:36:00.004-05:00

37 weeks and full term!

For reference, 37 weeks with the girls.

How far along: 37 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: 31lbs by my scale, 36 by the Drs.
Maternity clothes: yup
Stretch marks: Present!
Sleep: Still love it.
Best moment this week: Seeing the back of the baby's head at a quickie u/s!
Movement: Yup
Food cravings: still loving chocolate, or anything sweet really.
Food aversions: none right now
Gender: Now I'm leaning boy. I'm very indecisive this time.
Belly Button in or out: so out.
What I miss: Being able to bend without pain.
What I am looking forward to: Meeting this baby!
Weekly Wisdom: Just do it - and by that I mean I should be sterilizing stuff instead of blogging...
Milestones: FULL TERM!!!!

Also, I have NO PROGRESS. None, zero, nada. Not dilated or effaced. At all. My body just clings to these babies! By last time around 36.5 weeks I was 1cm and 50% effaced - I stayed that way until the scheduled c/s at 38 weeks. So, I was thinking there could be something by 37 weeks, but no. Everything is locked up tight and the Dr. seems to think I'll make it to the scheduled date - in 2 weeks and 6 days. AHHH, it's coming up so quickly!

They're 15 months old

2011-01-09T11:17:00.001-05:00

It's amazing how quickly 15 months can go by. From being so itty bitty, to being mobile and getting into everything. From cries to be held and fed, to babbling/talking and dancing. So much changes in those first 15 months.

The day before their 15 month birthday, I was finally able to take the girls out to see their first snow fall. I'd been waiting for this.

In case it hasn't been painfully obvious yet on this blog, I have a thing for ear hats. Last year, for their first winter, they had khaki colored hats (same style as above). This year, I had to have them again. Sadly, I think they're already in the biggest size of this variety I've seen, so next year I'll have some searching to do.

DC had absolutely no interest in standing. Sitting in the snow it was!

The next day was their 15 month birthday. It's always been important to me to get a monthly photograph of them, but this month it was especially important to me. It's the last monthly portrait session that they'll be my only children. The last one before the birth of their sister or brother. The last one (hopefully) before they're running. The last one as a family of four.

They weren't really having it, but we did it anyway.

The first one I'm showing here isn't my best work. It's not quite as sharp as I'd like, but it's just so HER. My silly little DC, you're always making us laugh - from your deep chuckle to your spontaneous dance moves, with your silly smile - you just love to get our attention and be silly. You command attention where-ever you go.

You're headstrong and get what you want. You love to cuddle, but also love your alone time. You're getting more daring now, taking steps and shuffling along. You're challenging us daily and are seemingly unphased by the word "no" or time outs - but you're still silly. You love to make faces.

Next up, my sweet little Scooter. You've always had a flair for the dramatic, with your siren yet woe-is-me newborn cry to your to your seriously sweet expressions I've caught on camera over the past 15 months.

You love to laugh and easily entertain yourself with your toys and figuring out how things work. You're a thinker and quietly figure out how you're going to accomplish something and then just do it. You're not walking regularly yet, but I know you can, I've seen you do it. You have a sweet little voice and say "what's this" and "thank you" often. You love giving hugs and spending time with your sister, but you also love being on the move.

Even though it's not shown here, you smile often and freely.

I know I say it every month, but I really can't believe how fast it's gone by. I love watching you both grow, learn, and become yourselves.

36 weeks

2011-01-08T14:35:00.004-05:00

How far along: 36 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: 34 lbs. Blech

Maternity clothes: Unavoidable.
Stretch marks: Present!
Sleep: Getting to that insomnia state - not fun.

Best moment this week: hearing the heartbeat, does that ever get old?

Movement: Yup, but I feel like it's slowing down a bit
Food cravings: still loving chocolate, or anything sweet really.
Food aversions: none right now
Gender: Thinking girl again.
Belly Button in or out: so out.
What I miss: Being able to bend without pain.

What I am looking forward to: Possible position check with a quick u/s next week!

Weekly Wisdom: There's a strong need to plan things - try not to obsess too much (impossible for me).

Milestones: Less than a month to go!

And now for a quick snap of the girls from yesterday. We were supposed to get 1-3 inches, so we took the girls out as the snow fell. (Today we've got at least 9 inches though, so we had lots of fun playing!!!)

Twins v. Singleton: Pregnancy comparison

2011-01-06T21:33:00.005-05:00

I've been meaning to write this post for a while, but wanted to be pretty well into the pregnancy before I did to make it as accurate as I could. And since tomorrow is 36 weeks - seems like as good a time as any, right?

First, the similarities:

No morning sickness (nausea yes, getting sick...no. Except once our of the blue at 37+ weeks with the girls...we'll see if it happens this time).
First tri exhaustion. Need I say more?
I showed early.
Cheese-it's seemed really, really appealing in the first tri.
Went from an innie to an outie

The differences:

I had some major aversions during the twin pregnancy (lean pockets...ugh, I STILL can't think of them), no real aversions with 3.0
More nausea with the twins
By this time in the twin pregnancy I could no longer fit behind the wheel of the car without my belly being IN the steering wheel (hi? uncomfortable to say the least), I was up at least 8 times a night to pee (this time maybe once, and this just started!), my pelvis felt like it could shatter at any given time.
Swelling - the rings came off at 16 weeks with the twins. By 26 weeks I could only wear flip flops. I just took my rings off this time (20 weeks later than last time) and can still wear my nice shoes (not that I do, but I CAN).
My face was ridiculously round last time. This time, just semi-round. Similar weight gain (sigh).
BH contrax feel different - I felt them all over with the girls, I feel them low this time (but I'm told that could be because of the c-section).
More "cravings" this time - although nothing crazy. I had NONE with the girls. This time, I'm all about chocolate (last time actually, the idea of chocolate grossed me out. Weird, huh?)
I can still get out of bed by myself!
WAY easier to breathe this time!
I'm carrying low now, or so I'm told - and I barely notice compared to last time. I'm told I've dropped, I can't really tell. I could TOTALLY tell when the girls dropped around 28 weeks - both by looking at my belly and the weight on my pelvis (although, it did get easier to breathe for a little while there with them).
I barely thought about this pregnancy - but the twin pregnancy consumed me. It made me feel pretty guilty, but it's hard to relish in your pregnancy when you're caring for 2 babies 24/7.
This pregnancy, in ways, was harder. Not necessarily physically (although it's getting increasingly harder to sit on the floor with the girls/pick them up - but I didn't have to do that last time and am pretty sure I wouldn't have been able to). It's harder because my belly gets in the way, the girls kick it when I change them, it's harder to pick them up and I can't just come home and lie down if I'm tired. Also - being pregnant back to back can be pretty tough.
Hair growth - I was a Sasquatch last time - and I had girls! This time, it's my normal growth.
Headaches - I've had one almost every day this pregnancy and it sucks. I escaped it last time, which was awesome!

As far as being prepared, well, I already had the car seats installed for weeks by this point last time. Now? I still have a few things to buy (bottle nipples, I guess, bassinet sheets), have bottles and pump parts to sterilize, a hospital bag to pack, car seat to install, etc. etc. Last time this was done EARLY. But, in my defense, most twins come around 34 weeks, so I was playing it safe. This time I just can't seem to get my butt in gear. Second child thing? Twins v. singleton thing? Laziness? Maybe all three.

So, those are the big differences - for me.

People ask if what the differences are and ask if that means I'm having a boy this time. Honestly, who knows? I think it's almost impossible to compare the two pregnancies because it 1 baby vs 2, so things that could be seen as differences in gender (like how I carry), could really just be based on available space. Plus, I'm back to thinking this one's a girl.

The one thing I didn't realize though is that I'd still feel 1 baby EVERYWHERE. Seriously, I have active kids. I can still see limbs flying around my belly and am shocked at what a reach this child has.

35/35

2010-12-31T21:23:00.003-05:00

How far along: 35weeks
Total weight gain/loss: Depends on who's scale you're going by. Preggo-hating Drs. scale I'm up 34lbs. 7 lb. weight difference + weighing in during the holiday season = not my favorite.
Maternity clothes: Unavoidable.
Stretch marks: Nothing new, but they're getting darker. BLECH.
Sleep: Yes please.
Best moment this week: CHRISTMAS!
Movement: LOTS of it!
Food cravings: still loving chocolate, or anything sweet really.
Food aversions: none right now
Gender: Still thinking girl, but toying with the idea of boy - now back to girl.
Belly Button in or out: so out.
What I miss: Rolling over gracefully.
What I am looking forward to: Having my babies feel better (stomach bug around here)Weekly Wisdom: That nesting feeling/feeling unprepared kicks in around a few weeks ago...
Milestones: Hello? 35/35!!!!

Ok, we've got some sickness passing through our household and with that and the craziness of the holidays, I don't have a picture that was taken today. Instead I have one from my maternity session that was taken a few weeks ago.

Anyway, I'm kind of in total disbelief that this baby's coming in 34 days or less. Seriously, how is that even possible?

I'm feeling really unprepared, which I realize is a bit ludicrous, considering the amount of abundant baby paraphernalia we have in this place. We have a bassinet, we have bottles, a swing, bouncy seats. The bases are COVERED. Really, all we really have to do is wash some of the newborn clothes (and organize our space a bit to make more room), put the car seat in, sterilize the bottles/breast pump parts, get some newborn disposable diapers and we're golden. Yet I still feel the need to shop/get stuff done/like we're going to be totally unprepared upon 3.0's arrival. Which I guess is normal. But still. AHHHHH.

It still feels so surreal. I never really pictured myself having 3 kids - I always envisioned having 2. But after the girls were born, I knew I wanted to have another. And now that time is almost here ::hyperventilate::

In twin news - they're doing well (despite being a bit sick right now), but neither are really walking yet (still) even though they'll be 15 months in a week. I know everyone tells me that it's easier to have them not walking - but really, they are incredibly fast crawlers and have you ever tried to take 2 non walking kids out to the car by yourself while pregnant? It's not easy. I know they could dawdle or something, but I think I'd prefer that to either carrying 2 2o-someodd lb babies to the car by myself or leaving 1 in the house screaming while I get the other in the car and run back. Scooter did walk across the room on Christmas and took more unassisted steps tonight, but then she just crawls. I think both of them know how to walk, but are holding out on us...

Anyway, it's New Year's Eve and here I am, updating a blog while my husband plays Call of Duty ::yawn:: I do intend to make it to midnight - I mean, I have to watch Snooki heave herself into the ball to be dropped, right?

Sooo...Happy New Year, everyone!

My 2010

2010-12-30T23:08:00.001-05:00

This has been my year.

And I can't wait to see what 2011 has in store for us!

32 weeks

2010-12-10T14:26:00.003-05:00

Wow, time has really escaped me this time. It's been 8 weeks since my last pregnancy post.

How far along: 32weeks
Total weight gain/loss: Depends on who's scale you're going by. By my pregnant, friendly scale, I'm up 27 lbs (ew), but my preggo-hating Drs. scale I'm up 34lbs. Why there's a 7 lb difference is beyond me. But either way, I don't like the number.
Maternity clothes: Unavoidable.
Stretch marks: Nothing new
Sleep: Still love sleep.
Best moment this week: Had some maternity pics done!
Movement: Lots, especially at night. It's a dance party in there...and I'm tired!
Food cravings: still loving chocolate
Food aversions: none right now
Gender: Still thinking girl, but toying with the idea of boy
Belly Button in or out: turkey's been done
What I miss: Sleeping on my belly.
What I am looking forward to: Christmas!
Weekly Wisdom: Being pregnant and taking care of toddlers full time is exhausting.
Milestones: Not sure if I've reached any this week.

Stand in the place where you are - 14 months

2010-12-09T13:35:00.000-05:00

My babies are 14 months old, already! I actually can't believe I even managed to get any of them together, but viola!

It's surreal to me that just 14 months ago, she was known as Baby A. And we didn't know she was a she.

How serious can one look while wearing a giraffe hat?

And my little Baby B, not really into the camera alone, but looking cute.

And in case you're wondering about the title of this post - neither of them are walking. I'm really surprised actually, because I thought for sure they'd be early walkers - they've both always been mobile and determined. They're both really speedy crawlers, so I'm thinking that may be the reason they don't feel the need to walk. They do push their push toys, and, well, everything else they can find around the house (toys, chairs...) and they're both starting to walk while holding our hands. But for now, they just stand. They stand on their own, from a sitting position - and they'll usually stand for a bit if you put them down on their feet.

Yay, standing!

I love this little dorky smile. LOVE it. I hope she never loses it.

Happy 14 months, little ladies!

Photo talk and 13 months

2010-11-10T10:35:00.004-05:00

I've gotten a few comments asking some questions about my photography, so I thought I'd answer them in a post, rather than commenting back. Hope that's alright with you.

I can babble on, so prepare yourself.

I started learning on a Canon Rebel XSi. It was a great camera to learn on and I would have kept it if I didn't have the desire to do this professionally. However, once I learned my camera inside and out and realized I needed more, I upgraded to a Nikon D700.

Why did I leave Canon? A few reasons - I wanted a full frame camera. That meant getting either the Canon 5dmii or the Nikon D700. The nikon has a superior focusing system to Canon and I didn't feel like waiting for the elusive 5dmiii to come out, I was looking to upgrade then. And, since I wasn't heavily invested in canon, I decided to make the switch and sell off my canon gear. Truthfully, Canon's feel better in my hands, but you get used to cameras and learn them. Both brands are excellent. Many go by the saying that camera bodies come and go, but good glass is forever - and I agree. Both Canon and Nikon make some GREAT glass, so that wasn't really a factor in my decision.

What WAS in my camera bag: Canon XSi, 18-55/3.5-5.6 kit lens, canon 50/1.8, tamron 24-78/2.8, canon 100/2.8 macro (oh, I do miss my macro).

What's in my camera bag now: Nikon D700, Nikon 50/1.4G, Nikon 85/1.8D, Nikon 24-70G.

Do I photoshop my images? I do edit my images, however, I'd rather spend my time behind the viewfinder than in front of the computer - so I've worked very hard at getting things right in camera to minimize my time editing. And in case you're wondering what I do most - it's removing face yuckies (boogies, leftover lunch, drool). Nothing major.

My logo? Made by a friend.

I love photography. I always have and always will. Now that I have kids, it's intensified because I have moments I want to capture and there is always a way to learn and be creative.

So, that's that on my phototalk. I think I've answered what's been asked?

I'll leave you with 2 quick snaps of my 13 month old beauties - who had a fever, and a runny nose, are on the brink of popping molars and didn't feel like humoring me.

Happy Halloween!

2010-10-31T10:42:00.001-04:00

I've always loved Halloween, but now that I have adorable little children to dress up? It's even better! Last year, they went as gloworms because they were only about 3 weeks old, but this year they're able to dress up for real. Yay!

Don't I have the cutest new lawn gnomes ever?

You just have to be careful with them though, they've been known to ravish gardens.

Happy Halloween!!!

The birthday bash

2010-10-18T16:37:00.001-04:00

Okay, brace yourself for an overwhelming amount of pictures. Their one year portraits are below, but I thought it would be nice to share the actual activities of the day itself.

First, we started the day off right - with a special pancake breakfast! Mmmmm!

After that, we picked up some birthday balloons and it was off to the park for some swinging fun.

Then, it was off to lunch and CUPCAKES! We found this great little place in town that has lots of toys and amazing cupcakes to boot!

And my absolute favorite shot from the cupcake shop:

Then it was home for a nap. After dinner, there were more cupcakes to be had.

The next day was packed with more fun - it was PARTY day!

So, all in all it was a weekend packed with birthday fun - and let me tell you, it was exhausting! (In fact, most of these pictures were actually taken with my handy dandy point and shoot - and the last 2 collages weren't even taken by me - since I wanted to be able to join in the birthday fun without a heavy camera around my neck and just enjoy the weekend as a mom, not a photographer).

It was perfect! And I'm pretty sure the girls thought so too.

24 weeks

2010-10-15T11:22:00.003-04:00

How far along: 24 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: +2 this week (+19 lbs total I think. Now I know why I stopped tracking it last time. Sigh.)
Maternity clothes: Yup, but I had a pair of jeans declare no more, so hopefully their replacement is on it's way.
Stretch marks: Nothing new
Sleep: More please.
Best moment this week: The girls b-day bash
Movement: Yup!
Food cravings: none
Food aversions: none right now
Gender: Still thinking girl
Belly Button in or out: Half and half
What I miss: Not being sore and stiff every time I switch positions
What I am looking forward to: Halloween!
Weekly Wisdom: Not feeling very wise at the moment.
Milestones: I think we've entered the viability weeks! YAY!

*Note this pic is actually from 23 weeks, but it will have to do.

One Year Stats

2010-10-14T10:49:00.002-04:00

Delaney:

19 lbs 14 oz (25%)
27 3/8 inches long(25%)
head: 18 1/8

It's so weird how small the changes are now than in the beginning, she's only up 1 lb 2 oz, but about an inch taller.

Briley:

21 lbs 1.5 oz (50%)
28 5/8 inches long (50%)
head 18 1/8

(neither have "big heads" anymore).

She was only up about .5 lb, but was also about an inch longer.

Both right on track developmentally, getting close to walking, but not quite there yet.

Ridin' around: A snapshot share.

2010-09-28T12:58:00.000-04:00

Well, we're kind of in fall now. I say kind of because lately we've been in a bit of a heatwave, but that's okay - we're still having fun. What's better than riding around for the first time in a Cozy Coupe? (Well, as long as your dad doesn't accidentally run you over with it, right, Mini-D?)

I'm not sure if I've mentioned Pengy on the blog yet, but Pengy is a pink, fluffy penguin that accompanies Mini-D everywhere she goes (see her holding onto him?). If you ask her where Mommy is, she'll just stare. If you ask her where Daddy is, she'll stare. Ask her where Pengy is and she'll crawl her way over to him if he's not with her. What can I say? They're BFFs.

And when we're not exploring the great outdoors, we're having some indoor fun. Mainly, riding around on our friendly dinosaur...well, if Mini-B ever gives Mini-D a turn...

21 weeks

2010-09-24T08:36:00.003-04:00

How far along: 21 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: +1 this week (+11 lbs total)
Maternity clothes: Yup, I have some fall clothes now too which this heat wave is preventing me from wearing.
Stretch marks: Nothing new
Sleep: More please.
Best moment this week: Getting some great feedback from a session I had.
Movement: Yup!
Food cravings: none
Food aversions: none right now
Gender: Still thinking girl, ring test said boy again.
Belly Button in or out: Working it's way out. Still.
What I miss: Sleeping on my stomach.
What I am looking forward to: Fall weather!
Weekly Wisdom: Not feeling very wise at the moment.
Milestones: DH felt the baby for the first time at 20w1d - so yay for outside movement!!!

20 weeks!!!

2010-09-17T13:59:00.005-04:00

First things first, 3.0 at 18w6d.

How far along: 20 weeks
Total weight gain/loss:-1 this week (+10 lbs total)
Maternity clothes: Yup, and the fall stash has arrived. It's nice after wearing the same stuff for over a year to have 1) something different 2) something warmer.
Stretch marks: Nothing new
Sleep: More please.
Best moment this week: Getting the new fall clothes for me and the girls. Of course now that they're here, it's warmer out and I can't get the girls all dolled up yet.
Movement: The blips are getting a little stronger!
Food cravings: none
Food aversions: none right now
Gender: Still thinking girl, although I want to try the ring test again.
Belly Button in or out: Working it's way out. Still.
What I miss: A flatter stomach
What I am looking forward to: Fall and all things pumpkin!
Weekly Wisdom: Write down all the nitty gritty. I had already stopped tracking my weight at this point with the girls and I wish I hadn't so I could compare. I think it was 17lbs? (I remember not quite making the 20lbs by 20 weeks twin goal, which was fine). I know how much I gained total, but I wish I could compare weekly, even though it wasn't something I wanted to write down then.
Milestones: 20 weeks! Halfway there (well, technically, a little past halfway since 3.0 will arrive around the 39 week mark...AHHHHHHHHH)

11 months (test post)

2010-09-13T12:32:00.002-04:00

Okay, I tried fixing the layout - I don't know why but it was looking completely normal on my laptop.

Anyway, I switched layouts so I could post bigger images of the girls. So here are some of their 11 month photos. Enjoy!

The big u/s...and 19 weeks!

2010-09-10T10:34:00.003-04:00

First off, had the big u/s yesterday (will try to upload a pic at some point).

Baby looked so different, a more pronounced nose and lips. With a heartbeat of 136 bpm and weighing in at 10 oz! It kept the hands by the face and didn't really want to give us a good view of the face, and the legs were crossed the whole time, so I'm not even sure that we could have been able to find out if we wanted to.

We stayed team green, but both noticed the heartbeat sounded so much slower and different than the girls. So maybe boy?

But when we got home we compared the pics to the girls big u/s pics and the baby looks a lot like Mini-D and had the same heartbeat as Mini-B, so who knows. Most importantly, baby looks good and healthy!!!

It's weird that this is the last one though - last time I was getting ultrasounds every 4 weeks!

Now, onto the week by week:

How far along: 19 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: +11 lbs total. Gross.
Maternity clothes: Yup, and thinking about buying some fall ones too so I have something warmer than a t-shirt.
Stretch marks: Nothing new
Sleep: I'd like more.
Best moment this week: Seeing the baby! For the first time it felt like it was time dedicated to JUST 3.0 (even though the girls were there). Even at the NT Scan, everyone was distracted by the girls, but this time it was much more centered around 3.0, which was really nice - that was a first.
Movement: Daily blips, I love it!
Food cravings: none
Food aversions: none right now
Gender: I'm thinking girl
Belly Button in or out: Working it's way out even more.
What I miss: A flatter stomach
What I am looking forward to: Fall! Hello PSL season!
Weekly Wisdom: Write everything down, you'll forget. Luckily I had all the info. from their big u/s here to reference. Which is why I'm doing it again.
Milestones: Daily movement.

16 weeks and a pic

2010-08-20T15:40:00.003-04:00

How far along: 16 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: +6.2 lbs total. Annoying.
Maternity clothes: Yup
Stretch marks: Nothing new
Sleep: Not getting enough
Best moment this week: Watching Delaney pull herself up. I know, not pregnancy related, but who cares.
Movement: I think I may have felt the first blip 2 days ago.
Food cravings: tortellini
Food aversions: Happens randomly
Gender: I'm thinking girl
Belly Button in or out: Working it's way out. Already.
What I miss: Beer
What I am looking forward to: Nice summer days
Weekly Wisdom: None. How's that?
Milestones: Flew out of the first tri. AHHH

And finally, the first belly pic of this pregnancy. I feel huge.

And because pictures look better with them in it:

13 weeks

2010-07-30T17:40:00.002-04:00

How far along: 13 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: -1 lbs (+1 lbs total)
Maternity clothes: Yup
Stretch marks: Nothing new
Sleep: Yes please.
Best moment this week: Seeing the baby and getting great NT scan results ( 1 in 11,614 for Downs and less than 1 in 100,000 for trisomy 18) Woot!
Movement: Not that I can feel, but the baby was moving a lot during the scan
Food cravings: None
Food aversions: None
Gender: I'm thinking girl
Belly Button in or out: Innie
What I miss: red wine
What I am looking forward to: summer fun
Weekly Wisdom: Buy clothes you like the first time around. I held out and didn't buy a few things (warmer clothes for the fall, maternity suit) and now I need them...so I'm going to have to buy somethings - had I the first time around they would have gotten more use. - I'm keeping this for this week since I just bought a couple more shirts.
Milestones: Just about out of the first tri!

12 weeks

2010-07-24T14:31:00.002-04:00

How far along: 12 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: +2 lbs (2 lbs total)
Maternity clothes: Yup
Stretch marks: Nothing new
Sleep: Yes please.
Best moment this week: Going out on a date with the husband to celebrate our 4th wedding anniversary. It was the first time we've been without kids.
Movement: Not that I can feel
Food cravings: None
Food aversions: None
Gender: I'm thinking girl
Belly Button in or out: Innie
What I miss: sushi
What I am looking forward to: NT scan on Monday.
Weekly Wisdom: Buy clothes you like the first time around. I held out and didn't buy a few things (warmer clothes for the fall, maternity suit) and now I need them...so I'm going to have to buy somethings - had I the first time around they would have gotten more use.
Milestones: According to some counts, so long first tri!

11 weeks

2010-07-16T11:34:00.001-04:00

How far along: 11 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: +/- 0 this week (0 lbs total)
Maternity clothes: Yup
Stretch marks: Nothing new
Sleep: I wish!
Best moment this week: Adding 3.0's u/s pics to our u/s book.
Movement: Not that I can feel
Food cravings: None
Food aversions: None
Gender: I'm thinking girl
Belly Button in or out: Innie
What I miss: COFFEE
What I am looking forward to: Our anniversary and first date post babies!
Weekly Wisdom: I'm not feeling overly wise lately.
Milestones: Hmmm, not sure if there have been any this week.

9 month stats

2010-07-12T16:40:00.000-04:00

Delaney: 18lbs 12.5 oz and 26.75 inches tall. Head: 18 inches.

Briley: 20 lbs 5 oz and 27.75 inches tall. Head 18 inches. And Briley's about to sprout 4 teeth, too.

Why D Rocks!

2010-07-10T21:16:00.004-04:00

Wife,
You are the best wife ever. You let me chill with my friends, which occassionaly entails several masses.

You also are the best B and D mom ever!!! I want you to know that I am so excited about 3.0 coming along! I have seen how awesome you have done with M.A. and M.B. I know you will be a perfect mom for M.C.!!! (get it "embryo A and embryo B," now we have "embryo C.") Ok, Ok, tough crowd! Well I thought it was funny. Anyways, back to my point, wife you rock and you are going to be such an incredible mom to all 3 of our kids! You take such good care of D, B, and myself, and I know that you will take great care of "MC" (in the heazy, raise your hands in the air) All of us would be nowhere if it wasn't for you and I just wanted to let you know that you are appreciated and loved by all of us.
I am so excited about the 23rd,
-B

A pregnancy post - 10 weeks

2010-07-09T23:27:00.003-04:00

Because I should. Because it's fair. Because I did these with my first pregnancy, I will start these now. At 10 weeks today.

How far along: 10 weeks! Holy crap, that's 25% complete! And we still need to get a minivan (and move, HAHAHA, not gonna happen).
Total weight gain/loss: +/- 0 this week (0 lbs total)
Maternity clothes: Uhm, I never LEFT maternity clothes, so here I am.
Stretch marks: Oh god yes. But all previous. Hell, I don't even think I'd notice new ones now.
Sleep: OMG, please? I swear I need 14 hours a day in order to function properly. It takes me over a day to recover from a day without a nap. <- that was my entry from 10 weeks with pregnancy #1. I still feel the same way, but I don't nap. Ever.
Best moment this week: Seeing 3.0. Dr. couldn't find the heartbeat so he quickly broke out the u/s machine - we even saw a little itty bitty foot and arm.
Movement: Not that I can feel
Food cravings: None
Food aversions: I don't have 'em this time around, but get grossed out quickly by foods after I start eating.
Gender: I'm thinking girl
Belly Button in or out: Innie
What I miss: I kind of want a beer. Does that make me sound like a lush? I miss my berry beer on these hot days.
What I am looking forward to: The NT scan.
Weekly Wisdom: Hmm, nothing wise to say. I'm up too late.
Milestones: Hellllloooooo fetushood. Way to go, 3.0

So that's that. The pregnancy survey. Note there's no belly pic. I'd rather chew glass than take one, so..I'm not. I never lost the belly from the twins, so I'm looking pretty huge.

It does feel pretty strange though. It still doesn't feel real.

I feel pretty guilty a lot of the time because this pregnancy is so different for me. Last time, there was so much leading up to getting pregnant and then we were. It was all consuming. I thought about it, them, all the time. I was always planning, looking up baby gear, furniture, thinking of names. Now? Not so much. I often forget how far along I am. Like, I only recently realized I change weeks on Fridays (I thought it was Sundays for no apparent reason) - last time I was a Thursday changer, and I don't think I'll every forget that.

It doesn't feel real yet. My outside babies are still consuming me, so I don't have those day-dreamy moments about the new baby. I don't need to look up baby gear, plan a nursery or any of that. So, I feel pretty guilty. Like this kid is getting the shaft. Don't get me wrong, I'm very excited to be pregnant, to be welcoming our third child - it's not that I'm not. I just don't get to pay full attention to this pregnancy.

So, hopefully doing these weekly notes will help me pay a little more attention to 3.0 - even if for only a few minutes.

Nine months!

2010-07-08T22:04:00.002-04:00

Excuse the blog look, it sucks right now, but I don't really care. The small pics were bothering me, so here are my girls, in all their 9 month glory:

Sorry, I'd add more, but I'm too tired from playing with the layout.